tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56646482011-04-21T17:16:02.468-05:00better living through chemistrythe subjective side of pharmacology, and some recipes for when you get the munchies. this site does not endorse the consumption of illicit substances.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.comBlogger431100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1129712841564320952005-10-19T04:04:00.000-05:002005-10-19T04:07:21.573-05:00great. now I can't sleep. I decided to experiment and add cimetidine 400 mg po bid to the mix. for one thing, I do have GERD, but for the other, I wanted to see what inhibiting CYP3A4 (among others) would do to my levels of venlafaxine. (I did decide to go back down to Effexor XR 150 mg po daily.) I don't know if I'm happy or high. though I suppose there really isn't a difference when you come undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1128096026206262592005-09-30T10:58:00.000-05:002005-09-30T11:00:26.213-05:00hello darkness, my old friend....Effexor XR 300 mg p.o. q.d., Wellbutrin SR 150 mg p.o. q.d., Zoloft 100 mg p.o. q.d. let's pretend it's actually going to make a difference.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1115536956724564282005-05-08T02:14:00.000-05:002005-05-08T02:22:36.750-05:00an over-the-counter high that is crashing…. so i survived the round trip car drive with the help of some pharmaceutical assistance readily available at the local drug store. now i'm hot and cold flashing like i'm post-menopause. that pseudo-chicago dog from wienerschnitzel isn't going down too well either, and i have to wake up in like five hours, and all i can contemplate is the great lonely undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1106187253220777942005-01-19T20:13:00.000-06:002005-01-19T20:14:13.220-06:00what they don't know is that the third tittie is poisonousundisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1100669540311834702004-11-16T23:16:00.000-06:002004-11-16T23:32:20.313-06:00i would like to curse whoever kills me.
not because i want to deter anyone from killing me, but because i want to see if curses work.
i've always believed that i would die a violent death, so i figure i might as well get something out of it.
i want whoever kills me to die a slow, horrible, painful death, completely aware of every second of suffering, screaming in terror every moment until undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1100321471232886282004-11-12T21:41:00.000-06:002004-11-12T22:51:11.233-06:00it has been over a week since i caught a glimpse of god/probably permanently damaged my brain. right afterwards, i didn't feel like i could put the experience into words. it was all too much. my head felt like a balloon that had been filled to bursting, or maybe a lightning rod that got struck. see, even now, i know that these words fail pathetically at trying to convey what happened.
so i was undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1099537822106724582004-11-03T21:09:00.000-06:002004-11-03T21:10:22.106-06:00There clearly is no God. Fuck him anyway, who needs him?undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1099293566991059962004-11-01T01:48:00.000-06:002004-11-01T01:19:26.993-06:00there is something seriously wrong with me. if i'm not wallowing in despair, i'm just seriously pissed off all the time.
i have bought an aluminum baseball bat and a chef's knife in case things get hairy this tuesday. i also have my rattan sticks. they'll be able to pick me off like that guy in indiana jones, but my hope is that it'll be a close crowd, a brawl type situation, and it'll be harderundisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1099177110298125202004-10-30T17:53:00.000-05:002004-10-30T17:58:30.296-05:00i can feel it. i'm going to fucking lose my mind.
no, it's not anything acute. i just know that one day things are going to fail to make sense, or more likely, they're going to make sense in a way that only I can understand.
schizophrenia here we come.
i'm just tired of the way my life is going, i think.
i don't know if there's really anything that can save me. they say these sorts of things undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1098870603949491512004-10-27T04:42:00.000-05:002004-10-27T04:50:03.950-05:00we are now taking three pills simultaneously. the red one, the purple one (which is now the orange one), and the blue one. effexor, wellbutrin, and zoloft.
interestingly, the combination did make me less depressed, but it made me doubt my own abilities more. on effexor and wellbutrin, i was pretty sad, but i was able to do my work without fear.
i guess you just can't win it all.
there's alwaysundisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1098766136936834642004-10-25T23:35:00.000-05:002004-10-25T23:48:56.936-05:00there is something seriously wrong with me. it looks like i need to see the shrink so i can titrate my meds.
i don't know. this whole chemical/spiritual dichotomy is really making me nuts. it's really difficult to believe simultaneously that my emotions are nothing but bizarre and highly complex electrochemical reactions in my brain, and then go out and say that i have a soul, and free-will to undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1098007080359986332004-10-17T04:54:00.000-05:002004-10-17T04:58:00.360-05:00Does this paranoid feeling truly abate? Is it really the diabolical scheme of the government, to make us want to be watched and spied on, to have our entire lives cut open and exposed like an augury?
Is reality TV a way to condition us into accepting 24 hour surveillance? Or is it just the chaotic whimsy of the Invisible Hand.
People want to watch not because they are gleaning information from undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1077417076539129852004-02-21T20:31:00.000-06:002004-02-21T20:33:14.966-06:00so I learned the lesson the hard way. besides being a "natural" viagra, yohimbe has a stimulatory effect, which many people liken to drinking several pots of coffee at once. now, I've had some really bad reactions with this stuff. from what I understand, this is also what a panic attack feels like. palpitations, feeling like passing out, restlessness and agitation, headaches. this time, I undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1075402929514525002004-01-29T13:02:00.000-06:002004-01-29T13:03:44.793-06:00four blue pills. one purple pill. will this really work?undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1065383921285771582003-10-05T14:58:00.000-05:002003-10-05T14:58:40.586-05:00i don't get it. i clearly need more drugs.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1064893536796600232003-09-29T22:45:00.000-05:002003-09-29T22:45:36.263-05:00i just love how inventive the japanese are. (for related information, go here. specifically, read about "" now i lay my hand down to sleep, aka "the stranger.")undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1064466175948090222003-09-25T00:02:00.000-05:002003-09-25T00:02:56.066-05:00are you drunk? (remarkably, i'm not)undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1064416885997867262003-09-24T10:21:00.000-05:002003-09-24T10:21:25.856-05:00ok, guys. angel's trumpet tea sounds like real bad news (Link from Popdex.) definitely stay away from the garden shears.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1064272440280152072003-09-22T18:14:00.000-05:002003-09-22T18:14:00.270-05:00lord have mercy. what is it with all these seriously demented animations? the spongmonkey like the moon.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1063861801913531552003-09-18T00:10:00.000-05:002003-09-18T00:10:01.933-05:00i put on my robe and wizard hat
ah. memes. mostly worthless and inexplicable. bits and pieces of random jibber-jabber that float around like spermatazoa in the acidic environment of the female reproductive tract.
(seriously, sometimes people go too far with the analogy of memes with genes. it gives a new meaning to the term "mindfuck.")
take "i put on my robe and wizard hat" for example (undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1063858766175789382003-09-17T23:19:00.000-05:002003-09-17T23:20:36.863-05:00a couple of seriously bizarre images. from the Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness. ok, so I've had about 3/4 of a pitcher of sangria. a lot of things are remarkably amusing at this time.
asphyxiation while masturbating is not recommended
remove metal rod from glans portion before using dildo
and finally, the gospel of supply side jesus. undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1063694084329382702003-09-16T01:34:00.000-05:002003-09-16T01:42:41.086-05:00as i had a cigarette (sorry, r!) i started thinking about strange things. like, what if embryonic development of multicellular organisms proceeded by sexual reproduction, i.e., with a dependency on meiosis? so that, like normal, two haploid gametes would join together to form a zygote, but instead of dividing by mitosis, they would spawn more haploid units (with crossing over and everything) undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1063408232030292132003-09-12T18:10:00.000-05:002003-09-12T18:10:54.246-05:00dear god. just from caffeine and protonix, i was cracking up for at least five minutes. i think this would cause some serious damage if you were on heavier drugs. this is the kind of thing that makes users of pcp jump out of 20-story buildings. who the hell thinks of these things? "badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom." undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1063157980727951192003-09-09T20:39:00.000-05:002003-09-09T20:39:40.713-05:00now i realize what spicy cajun pringles taste like. they taste like those flavor packets in ramen. or accent, also known as monosodium glutamate. maybe that's why i got explosive diarrhea the last time i had some of these.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1063155148645715622003-09-09T19:52:00.000-05:002003-09-09T19:52:28.730-05:00ah, the ideas spawned by the simpsons. excellent. some guy has decided to do a taste test of different beers mixed with skittles. now where can i find that flaming homer recipe?
undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1062953625626770622003-09-07T11:53:00.000-05:002003-09-07T11:53:45.533-05:00so MDMA doesn't cause parkinsonian symptoms after all. "Ecstasy Study Botched, Retracted" still, it does seem that with chronic use, it causes some neurotoxicity. the thing is, i don't think all the targets of serotonergic neurons have been mapped yet, so we can't be entirely sure what does happen.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1062730967130475572003-09-04T22:02:00.000-05:002003-09-04T22:02:47.150-05:00this showed up on blogdex. an article in the new scientist giving a little primer on the renal physiology of ethanol, and suggests just exactly how much water you need to drink in order to prevent a hangover.
some people swear by pedialyte, but it tastes like chalk. if you did an electrolyte analysis, gatorade is close enough anyway, and it tastes a lot better. but the only known cure for a undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-106171202616302212003-08-24T03:00:00.000-05:002003-08-24T03:00:26.060-05:00ok this is a fun site to visit when you are altered. egg, link from popdex.com. it took me a while to realize that, yes, where my mouse pointer was, was controlling where the eggs were going. weird. that was trippy. anyway.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1061699534836104582003-08-23T23:32:00.000-05:002003-08-23T23:32:14.800-05:00last night some dude came up to me and asked me if i had any ecstasy. man. do i look like a drug dealer?
although. i wish i did have some e. oh well.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1061599546389699002003-08-22T19:45:00.000-05:002003-08-22T19:45:46.343-05:00i have successfully associated smoking cigarettes with talking on the phone, in this twisted brain of mine. i don't know what's worse, the fact that when i'm outside and on my cel phone, i chain smoke like there's no tomorrow, or that when i go out to smoke a cigarette, i get the urge to call everyone on my contact list.
there is just something about the big city that makes me want to inhale undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1061500214329996592003-08-21T16:10:00.000-05:002003-08-21T16:10:14.440-05:00ah. agave. who knew. so yesterday, of course, we break the cardinal rule, and start off with beer, and then go to margaritas. we were only supposed to do two pitchers for seven people. in reality, it eventually added up to one pitcher per person.
i was drunk off my ass.
but this time it was quite strange. mania kicked in. pressured speech, flight of ideas. i told the story about how in undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1061219685328838602003-08-18T10:14:00.000-05:002003-08-18T10:14:45.390-05:00so when i was talking to b and then later to y and eo, i was reminiscing about the worst drinking experiences i've had. since alcohol has such a deleterious effect on memory, it's not surprising that i forget them all.
the big three:
1. when i was 16, me and b started drinking up a storm. i started off with 4 or 5 shots of 151, chased by zima. really disgusting. then we started plundering undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1061175570845340452003-08-17T21:59:00.000-05:002003-08-17T21:59:30.856-05:00quote of the day: "i will never forget what little i remember from that night." — EOundisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1061109394020637362003-08-17T03:36:00.000-05:002003-08-17T03:36:34.080-05:00a beautiful girl puked on me tonight. this is my definition of an excellent outing. yes.
surprisingly, i am still functional enough to type. it's wonderful what 20 mg of ephedrine will do, not to mention 100 mg of sertraline. i kind of wonder if the ranitidine (75 mg) really did have an effect. (as you know, there is this rumor that histamine-2 receptor blockers enhance your ability to undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060881681454397422003-08-14T12:21:00.000-05:002003-08-14T12:25:54.206-05:00originally written Wed Aug 13 06:02:57 PM:
why do whiskeys that are so popular (and cheap) all start with J? Johnny Walker. Jim Beam. Jack Daniels.
undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060881585624868452003-08-14T12:19:00.000-05:002003-08-14T12:24:18.376-05:00originally written Wed Aug 13 11:34:29 AM:
i had the urge to go drinking last night, by myself. a few people have told me that, perhaps, i have a problem. well, i know what that problem is, really. it's that whole damned novelty-seeking thing. my D4 receptors are seriously thwacked.
anyway, i haven't really had a drink in quite a while now (not since the weekend, heh), and it used to be undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060881471261063252003-08-14T12:17:00.000-05:002003-08-14T12:22:24.036-05:00originally written Mon Aug 11, 09:14:32 PM:
so i am on Zoloft (sertraline) because of my depression, and because of the panic attacks i have been having. i mean, it's not a magic bullet, for sure, but it sure beats wanting to kill yourself every morning.
the problem is that i got the whole akathisia thing. restlessness. i can't keep still. like i always have to keep moving my legs around.undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060881282490805452003-08-14T12:14:00.000-05:002003-08-14T12:19:15.346-05:00i have currently hijacked the 802.11b connection of a subway (why does a subway have an 802.11b connection?) and using cornell's dns servers (theirs are the first that show up on google--which i checked via wml on my cel. it would probably behoove me to memorize google's ip address. just in case.)
anyway, i am just going to paste in a bunch of backlogged entries.
undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060619008579160612003-08-11T11:23:00.000-05:002003-08-11T11:23:28.523-05:00mulling it over, while there is something definitely logical with associating introversion with parasympathetic dominance and extroversion with sympathetic dominance, there is something that doesn't ring true to me. mostly because of my own experiences as an introvert. to me, for some reason, it seems the fundamental differences seem to be at a higher level of neurological functioning. the undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060559542511094432003-08-10T18:52:00.000-05:002003-08-10T18:52:22.366-05:00so i haven't read anything about serotonin yet (i am most interested in this because i probably have some form of depression: major depressive disorder vs dysthymia) but Laney begins talking about how the adrenergic pathways are more dominant in extroverts while the cholinergic pathways are more dominant in introverts, and this has a sensible symmetry to it, since, at least, as the peripheral undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060556866848082072003-08-10T18:07:00.000-05:002003-08-10T18:08:04.100-05:00i am currently reading The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney, which was mentioned on Slashdot the other day. i've gotten to the section about the possible genetic basis for temperament, specifically regarding the difference between introversion and extroversion. Laney implicates the gene D4DR, i.e., the D4 subtype of the dopamine receptor, which has undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060543017551690762003-08-10T14:16:00.000-05:002003-08-10T14:16:57.563-05:00so i was watching MTV's Big Urban Myth and they had this segment about whether or not drinking pickle juice will allow you to pass drug tests that check for THC and its metabolites (which by the way, they said was false) and so, since i almost always watch tv with my ibook on my lap, connected to the net via airport (802.11b for you non-macheads), i decided to check on another purported way to undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5664648.post-1060495233789191432003-08-10T01:00:00.000-05:002003-08-10T01:00:33.670-05:00just so you know, a lot of these things can happen with prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) medicine, particularly the psychotropic kind: SSRIs, antipsychotics, stimulants, hell, even cough syrup. so don't assume i'm talking about the illicit substances. and when i am, recognize that everyday i see all sorts of drug users/abusers/addicts roll into the ER, so it's not surprising that i have undisonushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01922248806582480442noreply@blogger.com0