we are now taking three pills simultaneously. the red one, the purple one (which is now the orange one), and the blue one. effexor, wellbutrin, and zoloft.

interestingly, the combination did make me less depressed, but it made me doubt my own abilities more. on effexor and wellbutrin, i was pretty sad, but i was able to do my work without fear.

i guess you just can't win it all.

there's always some trade-off.

on the flip side, i wouldn't say i'm more anxious. i'm definitely a lot less agitated than i was on the 2-drug combo. like i'm not jittery and hyperkinetic.

although, interestingly, right after i took my dose, i felt warm, like my metabolism was running fast. my heart rate was pretty normal, and i didn't have the vasodilatory feeling that you get with alcohol or niacin. so maybe it's a little serotonin overload. i got over it in about half an hour.

the thing is, we have to wait until i reach a steady-state level. who knows what sort of toxic effects zoloft will have. the reason why i dropped it was cuz the side effects were starting to get to me. serotonin fatigue, they call it. you're not sad anymore, but you really don't care about anything. it's that existential numbness that camus could only dream about. oh, and the sexual side effects made it hard to masturbate. while i could hold an erection, i couldn't orgasm. now i know what a women feels :)

i'm sure that was too much information.